Take it to the Bedroom – It all starts and ends in the bedroom…

Why Couples Should Watch Porn Together

By Sarah GordonFebruary 11, 2021February 11, 2021Leave a Comment

Porn was once a great taboo, but this is no longer the case. In fact, studies show that most people consume porn in some form. However, many couples are still reluctant to introduce porn into the bedroom. There is no need to be afraid of doing so though because porn use for couples can be a great way to add spice to the bedroom and may even improve your sex life. The following article will show you just some of the reasons that couples should watch porn together.

Use Porn to Introduce Fantasies or Desires

It can be hard to talk to a partner about fantasies or desires that you may want to introduce to your sex life. Porn can help by allowing you to show your partner the desires and fantasies you might have. For example, you could watch a video together and then have a discussion about what you have seen. This is a good way to get conversation to flow and introduce ideas in a non-threatening way. Encourage your partner to share the kinds of porn they are interested in and then you can start discussing what you might like to try and introduce into your own sex life. Remember that you should always be respectful of the kinks of your partner, and never put pressure on a partner to try something that they are uncomfortable with!

Watch Porn to Improve Your Sex

We all know that porn is not real life. It is filmed by professionals with a director, and often has multiple takes, just like a film. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn things from porn. There are plenty of instructional videos that can introduce ideas, new techniques or even new sex positions for you to try. Even just watching regular porn can give you ideas to try or techniques to use. Watching porn together is a great way to get you both talking about sex and what you like too. Don’t be afraid to watch it and copy the techniques on the screen, but always remember that porn is not reality and you need to ensure you and your partner are safe and having fun.

Porn as Couples Therapy

Laughing and joking while watching awkward porn together is a fun bonding experience. Not everything has to be serious and sex should also be lighthearted at times. Porn can often be funny and corny (or outright whacky) and enjoying the more lighthearted side of sex is good for all couples. The other benefit of this type of experience is that it takes away the taboo of watching porn together and turns it into a more natural and fun thing to do. Before long it will be a natural part of togetherness and sex.

Porn use among couples is on the rise and there are many good reasons to watch porn together as a couple. Most people are already familiar with porn, so adding it to the bedroom can be a positive experience. There are many ways that you can improve your sex life and watching porn together can definitely play an important role.

The Guide to (Safely) Spanking Your Partner

By Sarah GordonFebruary 11, 2021February 11, 2021Leave a Comment

Spanking and impact play are very popular ways to add spice to a bedroom. They have become even more popular since the 50 shades of gray series of books and movies released. In fact, recent surveys have shown that 62% of married couples have tried some form of BDSM in their relationship. As with any new activity in the bedroom it can be exciting and fun, but it is important to consider how to add it in a safe way to ensure that it stays fun and that everyone is safe and enjoying themselves!

Safety First

It is important to consider the safety elements of spanking. It can cause damage and be painful if done in the incorrect way. The first thing to do is to ensure that you are using a safe word. A safe word is a word that you (or your partner) will use if they feel uncomfortable, experience unwanted pain or just want to stop. Choose a safe word that you would not usually use while having sex so that it is very clear (eg. pineapple or lighthouse). Agree what it means when the safe word is spoken and come to a stop as soon as it is heard. Another important safety element of spanking is to ensure that all spanking take place on safe zones. This is typically the middle of the buttocks where there is enough padding to ensure no damage is done. If you want to explore outside this area then it is important to take it slow!

Start Small

Start out by talking to your partner about your desires, good sex always starts with good communication. If you think you might like to be spanked in the bedroom then start with a light spank with a hand. This is a great way to test the waters and the impact can be increased slowly until you find your pain tolerance. Everyone is different and some can tolerate all kinds of impacts, even up to the point of bruising, whereas others do not enjoy being spanked at all. Never rush the experience, and allow everyone to get comfortable with adding spanking to your foreplay or sexual sessions. Use it sparingly at first and you’ll find that it either enhances or takes away from your sexual experiences.

Impact play

Objects like paddles, canes, whips, crops etc. should only be used by those who have more experience with spanking. However, once you feel like you are ready these types of spanking implements can really increase the effect of a spanking. These are available from your local sex toy shop or online, and it is always a good idea to choose items with good reviews. Household items can also be used, but caution is required with particularly hard objects that can cause bruising. Again, it is a good idea to start slowly and build up the impact until you find a level that is arousing without causing unwanted pain. Many people find they build a tolerance for spanking and desire a harder spanking as time goes on.

Spanking can be a lot of fun in the bedroom and is surprisingly popular. As long as you approach it with caution it is a generally safe activity. Exploring kinks in the bedroom is a great way to learn more about yourself and have a more fulfilling sex life. Go on, what have you got to lose!?

Reasons for a Dead Bedroom (and How to Improve it)

By Sarah GordonFebruary 7, 2021February 7, 2021Leave a Comment

It is almost inevitable in a long-term relationship that the fire burns out. It is quite common that one partner loses desire and interest, which can put a big strain on a relationship. However, this does not happen by accident or chance. The scenario is usually caused by a series of events and factors that build over a long period. A dead bedroom doesn’t need to be the death knell for a relationship though, there is always hope.

Factors That Can Cause a Loss of Intimacy and Romance

There are many factors that can cause a dead bedroom. Some of the most common include things such as financial issues, depression, stress, trust issues, arguments and conflict, lack of general intimacy, lack of quality time and similar issues. A dead bedroom is often thought to be caused by hormonal or desire issues, and this can be the case, but most often the cause is far more complex and intertwined with the rest of the relationship. Oftentimes, it requires work on the general relationship before the situation between the sheets improves.

Things You Can Do to Improve a Dead Bedroom

It is important to do some reflecting on your general relationship and look for things that may be causing conflict and tension. Try to work through issues together, or with a marriage counselor, and get into the root causes of the loss of intimacy. It is also a good idea to find ways to spend quality time together and share experiences together. Life can get very busy and often our partner gets overlooked or taken for granted. It is a good step to think about the kinds of things you did early in your relationship and find ways to share experiences again and build general intimacy. It is also a good idea to consult a medical professional about any loss of desire or interest in intimacy, because these issues can sometimes be caused by a medical problem.

A dead bedroom is a very frustrating experience for any relationship. However, it’s important to assess the situation and find out why it is happening rather than letting it fester or putting pressure on your partner. Usually, it is caused by a complicated web of issues that led to unresolved conflicts. Getting to the root cause usually provides an opportunity to save the relationship and get the spark back in the bedroom, but some relationships will need more work and professional support to survive and thrive. Don’t be ashamed of reaching out and getting your relationship back on track. All successful relationships go through tough times!

Rapid Fire Ways to Build Intimacy

By Sarah GordonJanuary 31, 2021January 31, 2021Leave a Comment

Intimacy is essential in a relationship; without it the relationship will break down. We often let things slide without working on improving them because it seems too hard or like too much work. However, there are some sure-fire ways to build intimacy that don’t take much work, time or investment.

Make Eye Contact

You might be surprised how big an effect this can have, but making regular eye contact throughout your day can rapidly build intimacy. A recent UCLA study showed that couples with successful relationships make more purposeful eye contact than couples with poor eye contact. Try staring into each other’s eyes each day, you might giggle like schoolchildren and have to give up or you might find that your intimacy increases tenfold!

Work on Yourself

Another intimacy hack sounds counter intuitive, but working on yourself can be a great way to gain confidence and build intimacy with your partner. All of your inhibitions and insecurities lead to distance in the bedroom and in your relationship. Start by looking after yourself and being kind to yourself and it can go a long way to increasing your desire and desirability. Studies show that people who love themselves make far better lovers!

Turn off Notifications

It’s no surprise that notifications from devices are causing people stress. The constantly interrupt our lives, and are often not as important as they seem. If you want to drive forward intimacy with your spouse then you should schedule time where you turn off your notifications and just spend time together. No more getting distracted by your phone notifications, and no more using notifications as an excuse to avoid intimacy – win-win!

Listen to Music Together

Intimacy is built through shared experiences. A quick way to build intimacy is to find music that you both enjoy and make sure that you listen to it. Music has a profound effect on our brains and sharing the experience is a great way to get closer. Sing along and goof off or enjoy a transcendent performance from your favorite artist in silence together. Most importantly, find something you can share together and build intimacy quickly.

Schedule time

This idea doesn’t sound very sexy, but scheduling time together can quickly build intimacy. Even if it just 30 minutes at a time, some alone time can be very beneficial to a relationship. Try and find time to schedule in your week and show your partner that they are a priority in your life. Studies have shown that just three scheduled times per week can improve relationship satisfaction by 67%. Make the time and you will build intimacy rapidly.

Intimacy is something we all need, but it is often illusive as the relationship goes on. You don’t need a lot of time to start building it back again. You just need to be ready to have a go and have your partner on board as well. After all, a relationship takes two!